Stop it. Just STOP IT.
This week alone, I’ve been bombarded by tweets of bacon coffins, bacon-scented kitty litter and bacon-draped websites.
What. The. Frak.
Seriously, I do not want my kitty litter to smell like bacon.
I do not want to be buried in a coffin that looks like it’s draped in bacon.
I don’t want bacon lube.
I am the Bacon Queen, yes. That does not mean I’m a freakin’ weirdo.
The whole bacon meme has been great fun.
Leonardo’s Starry Night in bacon? (Photo above.) Wonderfully creative.
Bacon adhesive bandages? Cute.
Maple-bacon doughnuts? Tasty. I love the savory/sweet combination and have no problem with many of the bacon dessert products that have come out.
Bacon wallet? Whatever. I don’t want one, because it would make me hungry to look at, but fine. It’s kitsch.
Bacon lube? Really? No, REALLY? Why? So it can make me hungry? What if you have a bad experience? That’d turn one off bacon, I’d think.
I can tell you, when I am changing my cat’s litter box, the last thing I want brought to mind is bacon. Who thought this was a good idea?
Just STOP IT. Bacon is great. It’s the Candy of Meat, yes. It’s the Gateway Meat, yes.
It is not kitty litter. It is not appropriate for burial. It is not lube.
It’s enough to make a queen want to hang up her crown.
Note: I refuse to link to any of the products, because they’re stupid. Use Google – I hear their search engine is pretty good.
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Amy Vernon does stuffs on the Internet, currently as General Manager of Social Marketing for Internet Media Labs. She spent 20 years watching newspapers resist doing anything new and different that would have saved them, but she isn't bitter.
